22-year-old Gets First Job, Parents Demand She Contributes $3000 a Month to Their Mortgage

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 19, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

How much should parents expect their adult child to contribute if they live with them?

Kids living with their parents as adults is becoming increasingly common these days, primarily because it is usually the more economical option. It is only fair that the parents expect a financial contribution to the household, but the likelihood is that it is not going to be as much of a drain on the finances as trying to live alone or even with roommates. Quite often, it pays to have a good enough relationship with mom and dad that you can live under the same roof.

However, not all parents believe in keeping the rent low just because their children need a place to stay. Instead, they see it as an opportunity to improve their own monetary situation. While it is somewhat understandable to expect a bigger contribution from somebody who has a well-paid job, there have to be some limits. Kids will never be able to achieve true independence if they constantly have family members helping themselves to a big chunk of their salary. It can get to a point where finding their own place actually works out as cheaper, or at least gives more peace of mind.

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  • A young woman sits at a table with a laptop, with bookshelves and hanging plants beside it
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    A young woman sits at a table with a laptop, with bookshelves and hanging plants beside it

  • A young woman lived with her parents and had just started her first job. It paid well, and as a result, her parents told her that they wanted her to contribute $3000 to their mortgage every month for the next few years.

    They reasoned that this would save them on interest, was cheaper than living away from home, and that they would pay her back. However, the woman felt that they were asking something of her that was too much of a commitment. She didn't think that they deserved to have access to nearly half her salary for such a long time.

  • Am I wrong for not wanting to contribute $3000/month to my parents’ mortgage even though they say they’ll pay me back?

    I'm a 22F and recently started working full-time. I make about $6,400/month after taxes and currently live at home.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • My parents want me to contribute $3,000/month toward their mortgage for 3 years. They say it's a loan and that they will pay me back when I need it. Their reasoning is that putting this much toward the mortgage will save them around $150k in interest, and that it's also financially beneficial for me because I'm living at home and avoiding rent/living expenses.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • I understand their perspective, and I do want to help my parents. However, $3,000/month feels overwhelming to me. That's almost half of my take-home pay, and if I contribute for 3 years, they said they would likely take another 3 years to pay me back. That means my money could be up for around 6 years.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • I kept telling them that I don't feel comfortable with $3000 because it's a significant portion of my income and I'm giving up access to the money even if they do pay me back eventually and they're like why? What other expenses do you have? And making me feel insane for feeling this way.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • I tried negotiating down to $2,000/month because I still wanted to contribute but also wanted to keep more financial flexibility. My dad said he doesn't want to force me, but he also doesn't want to negotiate. He knows how much I make and feels like this is a reasonable expectation. My parents made me feel selfish almost for not wanting to contribute the amount they expect.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • The part I'm struggling with is that they are very vague about repayment. When I suggested writing down the terms because this is a six-figure amount of money, they got upset and said things like, "So you don't trust us?" and "If you don't want to, then don't." I'm not saying I think they would intentionally not pay me back, I just feel like a written agreement is reasonable for $108,000.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • I also feel conflicted because living at home isn't completely free for me emotionally. I appreciate having a place to stay, but there are sacrifices involved, and I want to eventually move out and build my own life. My parents focus on the fact that I don't have many monthly expenses right now, but I feel like I'm also trying to save for my own future and independence.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • I'm not trying to avoid helping my family. I just don't know if committing $3,000/month for years is the right decision for me. This is almost half of what I make and it makes me feel incredibly anxious knowing I lose access for it, even if it is temporary.
    via Perfect-Cobbler-2754
  • A young woman sits at a table with a laptop, writing in a notepad
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    A young woman sits at a table with a laptop, writing in a notepad

  • JohnnyKac You make good money now...just move out.
    via JohnnyKac
  • Nervous-Wish-2791 They don't plan on paying you back. By the time the 3 years are up their tune will change to "you OWE us we spent so much money raising you". I guarantee it.
    via Nervous-Wish-2791
  • If you wanna help your parents then fine, but just know that money is good as gone.
    via Nervous-Wish-2791
  • Aggressive-Expert-69 All of my bills for the month cost less than 3k. Family never pays back. Just move out brother. They will be just fine.
    via Aggressive-Expert-69
  • Puzzled_Capital_5592 You're not overreacting, and if you give them that money you will never see it again. Better to take it and go rent your own place.
    via Puzzled_Capital_5592
  • AkkmanB NOR. Just move out. I'm sure you can find a 1 bedroom for $3,000.00 a month. It sounds like they want you to pay their mortgage. You could be saving towards your own house. Are they planning on paying you interest?
    via AkkmanB
  • Green-Dragon-14 Tell them to put you on the deed & you'll help out.
    via Green-Dragon-14
  • leiawars Moooooooooove out. They're being cagey and unwilling to negotiate. They only care about what's going into their pocket and not about you.
    via leiawars
  • MrsSmith-saysso As a parent I can't imagine asking one of my children to pay me half their income. It's hard enough for young people to find affordable places to live without being gouged by a family member. As others suggested, even if your parents' intentions are pure, you will not see that money again.
    via MrsSmith-saysso
  • Do yourself a favor and find yourself a cheap apartment and move out as soon as possible. It's a rite of passage and your first step towards true independence. It will be liberating to be off your parents' payroll so to speak and fully making all your own decisions.
    via MrsSmith-saysso

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family drama mortgage daughter first job
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